Who: Maria - pronounced mah-REE-yah, it is of Latin origin meaning "star of the sea." But this Maria is neither a star nor is she of the sea. However, if the public will accept it as valid, Maria can claim that she is star of her own swimming pool.
When: She came of this earth on the 9th of July (google, “Julius”) in the year she claims is lost to her memory. While she would prefer to say that she was born from sea foam, a birth to rival that of Venus, she has no choice but to say that she came by one of two “normal ways.” She is relieved, though, that the one “normal way” she came by is named after a Roman that worshipped Venus and the other gods of Olympus. For details, google “Caesar.”
Where: Given songs written in honor of women named Maria such as Maria Maria by Carlos Santana and Maria by Ricky Martin, men might try to look for a Maria hidden poorly behind scanty, sheer, shimmering blouses with ultra-low necklines that leave nothing to the imagination. If especially convinced by the songs, they might like to find her wet in the water of huge fountains left by Spanish conquistadores in the capitals of their old colonies. Or if not thrown into this fantasy, they might be content to find her in a bar or a party somewhere.
However, it is not so with this specific Maria. Contrary to the lyrics written about her namesakes lately, Maria could be found lounging in coffee shops quietly sipping green tea and reading a good book. This “good book” may sometimes be replaced by her trusty iBook, but the effect is the same – bystanders, observers, strangers, or friends, will think twice before disturbing her peace.
When she isn’t so peaceful, you will find her at tennis courts trying desperately to hit a tennis ball decently over the net. She is a shameless tennis fan and could chatter about tennis athletes for hours. However, don’t expect her to come up with anything insightful about their game – she could get just as busy talking about how hot tennis stars are. Despite the fascination with tennis, though, Maria has no desire to be Maria Sharapova. Nor does she wish to acquire Maria Sharapova’s orgasma-shrieks.
Other names: Maria may respond to other variations of the name. The most common variation is Maita, pronounced mah-EE-tah but lazy friends and relatives drop the middle syllable and simply say, MY-tah. Others go for the much shorter version and just pronounce the first syllable, Mai.
Maria will not respond to names such as baby, honey, sweetie or any of its variations without prior arrangements with the addressor.
